“You have got to want it...”

These are the words that I still recall when being told how fast a person could down a pint of milk.  For some reason the words got lodged - even 20 odd years later they still resonate.

This particular entry centers around a session of one-upmanship at the temple - this one being between the youngsters and the elders. 

Uncle 1: “You kids drink too much fizzy drink.”

Youngster 1: “Nah, it just looks like that.”

Uncle 2: “Ah, leave the kids alone.  Don’t you remember how we used to drink the stuff by the litre?”

Uncle 1: “….”

TaT: “By the litre? And now we are getting a lecture?!”

Uncle 2: “Yeah, your uncle could down a bottle in half hour.”

TaT: “That ain’t good now is it.”  Wagging my finger at the Uncle – really enjoying the tables having turned.  He did not appear so comfortable at having his dirty laundry being aired.

Uncle 3: “That’s nothing, remember the milk bottles?”

TaT: “The what?!”

Uncle 2: “Oh yeah!  Pint bottle of milk each and we would see who could down it fastest.”

For some context; my uncles had developed a range of ‘games’.  The interesting part was that as non-drinkers they then had to be a bit more creative.  You see, boys will be boys.

So instead of the usual's associated with lad culture these guys had:

a) Food competitions – the challenge was to eat faster than the food could be made by the mothers.  Suffice to say some of them took it way too far with little regard to their health!

b) Playing tick with one small tweak - they played it whilst in their boy racer cars. They would literally play hide and seek through the back streets in their cars. This was something I only recently found out – and will be the subject of another story.

TaT: “Ummmm, where’s the challenge?  I don’t get it..”

Uncle 3: “Try it and you will see what’s so hard.”

Out came a few pint sized glass milk bottles – to this day I have no idea where they came from!  Anyway; me and Youngster 1 squared up against Uncles 1 and 2.

Uncle 3: “On the count of 3 then.  1, 2….3!”

I have not seen the oldies move as fast!  They had already ripped off the lids and were chugging the stuff down.  I did my best to keep up…

Uncle 1: “Time!!!!!”

The man had already finished - I was just getting started!!!!

Uncle 3: “8.2.  Not bad man, not bad!”

TaT: “How the heck did you manage…”

Uncle 1: “Practice lad, practice.”

TaT: “8 seconds to down a pint?  You animal!”

Uncle 3: “The record was 7 back in the day.  And you realise it takes 10 seconds for the milk to naturally come out of the bottle.”

TaT: “How the…”

At this point, uncle 1 having composed himself, looked me straight in the eye with a deadpan look…

Uncle 1: “Son, you have got to want it…”

Now, I know it may be silly to compete using milk and the above may sound surreal.  However, I took a life lesson that day and haven’t looked at milk bottles the same way since.

Take away: To really achieve greatness you have got to want it…